i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
