haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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