Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
