what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
