When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
