Your dad touched me again.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
