Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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