Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
