I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
not ubering you a puppy
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
