my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
