i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
