Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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