Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
