Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
