I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
