this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
