Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
