god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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