well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
