Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
