i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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