I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
