i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
