My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
They are going to name an STD after you.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
