We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
porn star boner night. come get it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
