Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
