Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
