A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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