forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
