You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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