dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
