The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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