I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
