It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
