I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
