? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
