I wanna bring you to show and tell
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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