i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
