There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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