i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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