she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
