well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
