She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
