i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
