I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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