You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
