I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I feel great
I just peed on a car
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
