Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
