It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
