If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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