Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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