East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
