Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
